Surprise
by Scarpaw
Summary: "It's only until Shinra gives up trying to play matchmaker on us – how long could that be?" Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya start dating before their freshman year of high school, unknown to everyone around them. When Izaya decides it'd be fun to play a joke on their mutual friend Shinra, he doesn't realize that the joke will be as long term as their relationship.


So, I was on nakadoo's tumblr and found a prompt in their Shizaya tag saying how Shizuo and Izaya have been dating for years, only they've kept it secret because of Shinra's matchmaking attempts. And, well, this is the result. I hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!**

 _ **Surprise**_

" _Really Shizu-chan, it's only until Shinra gives up trying to play matchmaker on us – how long could that be?" – Famous last words._

 _Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya start dating before their freshman year of high school, unknown to everyone around them. When Izaya decides it'd be fun to play a joke on their mutual friend Shinra, he doesn't realize that the joke will be as long term as their relationship._

"Ne, Shizu-chan, do you know someone named Kishitani Shinra?" It was an oddly specific question coming from Izaya, and Shizuo was slightly surprised that he was asked that.

"Yeah," Shizuo answered after a moment, not certain as to why his boyfriend was asking. "I went to elementary school with him. Why?"

"And you never mentioned him to me?" Izaya avoided the question. "Or, thinking about it, me to him?"

"It never came up!" Shizuo snapped, in response, a bit more irritably than the situation warranted "And no, I didn't. Sheesh, why is this so important to you?"

"I went to middle school with him," Izaya finally deigned to answer, shrugging. "And now we all go to high school together, how quaint." Though Izaya's tone suggested that it was anything _but_ quaint. Before Shizuo could ask Izaya anything, however, he continued,

"Ne, Shizu-chan, did you ever mention… _us_ to Shinra?" 'Us', as in their relationship. Izaya had a fairly good assumption to the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Shizuo just to be certain.

"No, why? Is this what that's all about? Honestly, you could've mentioned it to him – you just said you went to middle school with the guy. Seriously, what's with the twenty questions going on?" Izaya shook his head, biting his lip as he contemplated something. Shizuo had a feeling he wouldn't like whatever Izaya was about to suggest.

"Last question, promise," Izaya said when he was done thinking about whatever scheme he was undoubtedly about to pull his boyfriend into. "How do you feel about pulling a… _prank,_ we'll say, on Shinra?"

"You're an asshole," Was Shizuo's immediate response, making Izaya laugh, and he stood up on his tiptoes to press a kiss to Shizuo's cheek with a wicked smile on his lips.

"That wasn't a 'no' I heard."

* * *

"I can't believe you _stabbed_ me!"

"Technically, it's a slash mark, not a stab," Izaya corrected lightly, tip-toeing fingers over the area where a bandage was placed that Shinra had been so nice to fix over the wound Izaya so lovingly gave to his boyfriend earlier that day. "Besides, wasn't that fun?"

"I think you have a pretty messed up definition of 'fun'," Shizuo scoffed, mad, but not enough to pull away from Izaya when he looped his arm through Shizuo's, humming as they started walking. The 'prank' Izaya had wanted to play on Shinra was just for the boyfriends to pretend not to have met before, and act the exact opposite. Hate at first sight – it was a really fun scheme to play, and it had been exhilarating, if Izaya was to be honest. It was exciting, though Shizuo had disagreed.

"Oh, come on, we can tell him tomorrow that it was a joke," Izaya waved his hand dismissively, looking up at Shizuo's face, trying to tell if there was something else bothering his boyfriend that he wasn't sharing. "Now are we going to that parfait shop or not?"

"Thought you didn't want to go?" Shizuo responded, though he didn't fight Izaya when the smaller teen pulled him across the crosswalk in the direction of the shop, a smirk crossing his lips.

"I don't," Izaya denied, though his words seemed a very big contradiction to his actions with how he was practically dragging Shizuo towards the shop. "But I owe Shizu-chan, don't I? After all, he's the one who's going along with me to play a prank on his childhood friend, isn't he? Going for a parfait is the least I can do."

"Damn right you owe me," Shizuo agreed.

* * *

So, they didn't actually spring the truth on Shinra the next day. Part of it was because Shizuo had wound up staying home – Kasuka got sick, and Shizuo stayed home to take care of him, and Izaya didn't really want to reveal the prank to Shinra without Shizuo there. Shinra wouldn't believe him if Shizuo wasn't there to back up his words, and even if Shinra didn't believe him, telling the truth wouldn't be as much fun if Izaya wasn't able to rub it in Shinra's face with Shizuo there. The other part was because of Shinra, actually.

"I think if you two got past your difference, you could be good friends!" Shinra had been insisting earlier that day, which had made Izaya snort, and gave him incentive to keep the game going.

"What do you mean, you didn't tell him?" Shizuo was more irritable than usual when Izaya stopped by his house later that day. Taking care of a sick younger sibling would do that to you, Izaya knew from experience, though normally when he had a sick younger sibling to take care of, it wasn't just one, it was _two._

"I mean exactly what I said," Izaya explained patiently, ducking under Shizuo's arm, inviting himself into his boyfriend's house. He slipped his shoes off and headed straight for the kitchen. "I didn't tell him."

"Why not?" Shizuo tried his hardest not to stomp after Izaya. Kasuka was sleeping upstairs, and he didn't want to wake him up by accident.

"Like Shinra would believe that we're dating without you there to confirm it," Izaya responded blithely, pulling a pot out of one of the kitchen cupboards and filling it with water. "Besides, I had a thought earlier. Wouldn't it be more interesting if we didn't tell him?"

"What? Of course we should tell him!" Shizuo protested as Izaya put the pot on the stove and turned it on. "He's our friend!"

"I didn't mean we would never tell him Shizu-chan," Izaya rooted through the cabinets, pulling spice stuff out and dropping it in the water. "Just not right away, ne? Shinra thinks he can play matchmaker with us."

"And what," Shizuo scowled, "Your way of letting Shinra play matchmaker is by not letting him play matchmaker?"

"Exactly!" Izaya beamed, "Ne, I always knew you were smart Shizu-chan." Shizuo felt like he was given a backhanded compliment, but he didn't comment on it. "Now, are you going to help me or not?"

He didn't have the slightest idea what Izaya was doing, or why he had taken over the kitchen. Shizuo also didn't know what the question was aimed towards – him helping deceive Shinra, or with whatever Izaya was doing in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked, not sure if he wanted the answer or not.

"Making soup, obviously," Izaya looked at Shizuo as if he wanted to retract his earlier statement on his boyfriend's intelligence. "You mentioned that Kasuka was sick, so I'm guessing he's barely had anything more than water and crackers, and I'm guessing all you've had today was a pudding cup, because when you kissed me earlier I could taste chocolate. That and you only ate half of it, because it's still sitting on the counter." He gave a pointed look to the pudding cup, sitting forgotten on the countertop, the spoon Shizuo had been using still sitting in it.

"So you're making soup." He repeated what Izaya said, standing awkwardly to the side as his boyfriend set food on the counter like he lived in the house too.

"Does Shizu-chan have a problem with soup?" Izaya stared at his boyfriend. "Or is it with me cooking?"

"No," Shizuo was quick to deny, "I mean, you shouldn't just be acting like you can do what you want in my house –"

"Aw, are you embarrassed?" He was teased lightly. "But, ne, I don't see the problem in my cooking for you. Didn't you say that your parents were going to be home late tonight and that you were on your own anyway? So really, Shizu-chan could say that I'm doing him and his brother a favor!"

"Th-that's not the point! And stop calling me Shizu-chan!" Shizuo didn't really have a problem with Izaya cooking – he knew his boyfriend could, because Izaya had mentioned before how he cooked all the time for his sisters, but Shizuo had never actually seen him cook. "Anyways, how do you plan on not to let Shinra play matchmaker?"

"Changing the subject, I see," Izaya laughed, dropping the chicken breast he retrieved from the freezer and defrosting it in the microwave. He answered Shizuo nonetheless. "I was just figuring we continue in the same way we did yesterday. Act like we hate each other, pretend to fight, that sort of thing." Seeing Shizuo's frown, Izaya pressed, "Come on, you have to admit it was fun and exciting."

"I could've hurt you," Shizuo mumbled, leaning against the counter and staring down at it.

"But you didn't!" Izaya responded, ducking and maneuvering himself so he was directly in Shizuo's line of sight between him and the counter. "I trust you, Shizuo, and I don't think you could ever hurt me." He gave Shizuo a cheeky grin. "Really Shizu-chan, it's only until Shinra gives up trying to play matchmaker on us – how long could that be?"

"Fine," Shizuo gave in, not surprised when Izaya excitedly bounced up, pressing a kiss on his lips. "But _only_ until he gives up trying to play matchmaker, got it?"

"Of course!" Izaya bounced with excited energy, and Shizuo sighed. Izaya lived for doing stuff like this to people – playing tricks and games – and Shizuo knew this when he agreed to date him. Still, he hadn't thought Izaya would play a trick like this on one of his friends, or get him wrapped up in it.

"Now Shizu-chan, you're going to help me, ne?"

"Yeah."

* * *

"You paid a guy to hit me with his truck!"

"I didn't pay him to _hit_ you, Shizu-chan. It was more of… compensation, for the repairs he'd need to make from hitting you. Besides, you're just fine, aren't you?"

"That's beside the point!" Shizuo roared, and Izaya laughed.

"If we're going to quibble over semantics," Izaya pointed out, hopping away lightly when Shizuo made a half-hearted lunge for him. Because they were out of the public's eye, there was no need to keep up their charade of hatred. "Might I point out you actually hit me last week with the vending machine you threw? I think I still have the bruise if Shizu-chan wants to see…"

"So you got me hit by a truck?" He did feel bad for hitting Izaya with the vending machine, but not enough to balance it out.

"Ne, I didn't get you hit by the truck!" Izaya insisted, dancing away from Shizuo again, laughter present in his voice. "It's not my fault Shizu-chan didn't look both ways before crossing the street!" Neither did Izaya, but he wasn't the one who got hit by a moving vehicle. "And really, saying I got you hit by the truck implies that I had the foresight to actually lure you down that street at a precise point in time, and account for traffic in order to get someone to drive down the street exactly when I planned to be running through there, and to make sure everything was –"

Similar to how a lot of their chases and days ended, Izaya's rant was interrupted and summarily ended by Shizuo putting his mouth over Izaya's and practically shoving his tongue down his boyfriend's throat. Izaya laughed, nipping sharply on Shizuo's lower lip when his boyfriend finally removed his tongue. Shizuo answered with a bite of his own, and when Izaya licked his lips, he wasn't sure whose blood he tasted – his or Shizuo's.

"See?" Izaya laughed breathily, before they were swooping in again, kissing. He only spoke when they came up for air, "Told you – hah – it was exciting." And it was. Their chases around Ikebukuro ended in one of two ways. Either Simon from Russia Sushi broke them up, dragging them in to the shop for sushi, making their chases end in an unexpected (but not unhappy) dinner date, or their chases ended in angry, hot make-outs in some alley or on some rooftop.

It kept things interesting in their relationship. Izaya loved the thrill of their chases almost as much as he loved Shizuo, and he would be disappointed if they ever stopped having them. And Izaya knew that Shizuo found the chases of their exciting as well. After all, pressed up against him as they were when they were making out, Izaya had unmistakable proof of his boyfriend's enjoyment of these chases that Shizuo would have trouble denying.

* * *

One year passed.

Then two.

Then three.

Four, five, six.

Before they knew it, it had been almost ten years – ten years of the same song and dance, and Shinra had yet to give up on trying to play matchmaker with them.

* * *

"'Only until he stops playing matchmaker' you said," Shizuo sighed in annoyance, sitting across the table from his boyfriend at a café in Shinjuku. "'Shouldn't be too long' you said."

"All right, all right, I get it," Izaya scowled over his coffee, pushing his slice of cake towards the middle of the table as a silent peace offering to Shizuo. It was some sort of dark chocolate cherry cake that Shizuo swore up and down that he'd like, but either Shizuo was wrong, or Izaya wasn't as hungry as he had originally thought. "So Shinra's a bit more persistent than I originally thought."

"A bit?" Shizuo raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Izaya, it's been almost ten years. Ten years, and we haven't told _anybody._ The entire city thinks we hate each other!"

"I know, it's impressive isn't it?" Izaya responded, and Shizuo thought that maybe Izaya didn't see the same thing wrong that he did. He nudged the slice of cake back towards Izaya. "If they only knew what happened behind closed doors, ne?"

"Besides, we _have_ told _some_ people Shizu-chan," Izaya added before Shizuo could say anything, picking up his fork and tapping the tines lightly against his plate. "Your parents, for example. Mine as well. We can't forget Kasuka, either. Probably his girlfriend, Ruri-chan, knows as well." Not his sisters though. They'd be the first ones to spill a secret like this. Though, honestly, it was a bit of a surprise that they hadn't figured it out yet… Either that, or they thought it was an impressive bit of blackmail and was saving it for an appropriate time…

"You know what I mean," Shizuo retaliated.

"I know," Izaya muttered unhappily, frowning down at his cup as he set the fork down. Truthfully, after having their relationship secret for so long, Izaya didn't know how to feel if they went public. Well, as public as telling Shinra and Celty would be, at least. And Dotachin as well, though he wouldn't be allowed to tell the rest of the van gang… "It's just… I mean, we've put so much time into keeping it a secret…" Giving up now would feel like admitting defeat. And Izaya was never good at admitting defeat.

"I know," Shizuo nodded in agreement. "But isn't that as much of a reason to stop keeping it a secret?" He reached across the table, taking Izaya's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Come on, at least Celty and Shinra deserve to know."

"Yeah," Izaya acquiesced, squeezing Shizuo's hand back and lacing their fingers together. "I guess so. They're having their Christmas party in two weeks, I can always show up after and we can tell them then."

"You could always show up to the Christmas party," Shizuo frowned, and Izaya frowned back.

"We both know I wasn't invited Shizu-chan," Izaya told him. "Besides, a lot of people wouldn't want me there."

"I want you there," Was Shizuo's soft response, a small flush on his cheeks as he avoided his boyfriend's eyes. And Izaya was glad Shizuo wasn't looking at him, because it meant he didn't see the flush that was spreading on his own face.

"We'll see," Izaya sighed once he composed himself. "Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about, or are you ready to go?"

"Wait!" Shizuo said a little too quickly, "Don't you want to finish your cake?" His cake?

"Not particularly…" Izaya admitted, albeit a bit suspicious at Shizuo's sudden nervous behavior and his fixation on Izaya's cake. Sensing his boyfriend was going to insist though, Izaya reached for his fork, "But I suppose I could have a few more bites."

Izaya's suspicion only grew when Shizuo let out a relieved sigh. He went to cut another piece off of his slice, stopping when a metallic sound clashed with his fork.

"Oh?" He had an idea of what it might be, but he still looked to Shizuo, slightly confused. After all, it couldn't seriously… But as he dragged his fork out – "Oh…" And it hit him at once. "Oh!"

Shizuo was mumbling some dumb stuff like how he didn't have to say anything now, and how it was stupid, but Izaya wasn't really listening. It was a good thing their cups were empty, because when Izaya lunged across the table, his knees knocked the underside, upsetting them. He wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, kissing him when Shizuo was surprised enough to turn his head to look at him.

"Of course, you stupid protozoan," Izaya laughed, giddy, between kisses. "You _idiot._ "

* * *

The only thing, really, that could make Izaya happier was if Shinra finally admitted defeat on his matchmaking scheme.

Which he did, two days before his Christmas party.

* * *

"Hey, didn't you say Shizuo was showing up to this Christmas party of yours?" Kadota asked a half-hour into the party. It seemed as if everybody else who had been invited was there except for the aforementioned Fortissimo of Ikebukuro.

"Yeah, he said he was coming," Shinra agreed, looking around, as if Shizuo might have slipped in while he wasn't looking. "Actually, now that you mention it, he had told me that he was going to come early to help set up, and he didn't."

"Maybe something came up?" Mikado suggested, looking between Anri and Kida. Kida shrugged.

"Or maybe he found some lovely lady to spend this yuletide season with!" Kida offered.

"Somehow I doubt that," Kadota muttered, but Shinra mirrored Kida's shrug.

"Who knows?" He said, but pulled out his cellphone. "Ah, but I guess I'll text him so my Celty won't wonder if something happened to him."

"You do that." Kadota was about to move away, but paused, staring down the hall towards Shinra's front door. "Hey, I think someone's trying to get in."

"What?" Shinra moved so he could see down the hall and, sure enough, his doorknob was jiggling a bit like someone was trying to open the door or pick the lock. "I think Shizuo's the only one we're waiting on, but he'd knock…" And there was only two people that Shinra knew of who would pick his lock, one being Mika, who was there already, and the other being Izaya, who hadn't been invited.

"I wonder who it is," Shinra mused aloud, stepping towards the door while everyone else tried to move to see who was at the door.

Shinra had barely taken two steps in the direction of the door before it unlocked with a soft click, opening a small way. Before anyone could blink, the door slammed open dramatically, and in walked the devil.

Okay, in reality, it was Izaya, cackling madly like he was the Grinch who had come to steal Christmas from the Whos in Whoville in a blatantly obvious way.

Actually, as Shinra processed the image, Shizuo was right behind Izaya, and the whole picture looked _wrong_. Both men were wearing Santa hats – creepy on Izaya, but kind of fitting on Shizuo – and they were wearing matching Christmas sweaters, which was downright weird and creepy. Shizuo had a faintly embarrassed look on his face, a blush high on his cheeks, while Izaya, red in the face though more likely from laughing than anything, seemed right in his element.

And, holy shit, Shinra realized belatedly, Izaya was brandishing his empty left hand like a weapon as he spoke, only it wasn't exactly _empty._

"Surprise everyone!" Izaya's voice was filled with manic, giddy glee, while Shizuo sighed softly behind him like he had tried to put a stop to this before it began. "Guess who's _engaged!"_

There was a ring, with a gem on it that was catching the light, sitting on Izaya's ring finger.

It took exactly one full second for Izaya's words and the scene to process fully with everyone.

"WHAT?"

* * *

 _Ahahaha... Poor Shinra, he only wanted a normal Christmas party, and then Izaya goes and drops a bombshell... Please read and review!  
_


End file.
